STRESS, CO-DEPENDENCE & ABUSE
Stress, esp. emotional stress, is the number one cause of poor efficiency in any group.
This is because stress often interferes with task-related thinking, performance, physical and emotional health etc.
Effective stress reduction therefore increases efficiency, productivity, morale and prosperity.
Unhealthy and ineffective responses to stress include abuse of substances and abuse of power.
Power Abuse ranges from physical or emotional abuse to crime [and war]
Power abuse is common among both Substance Abusers and Co-Dependents.
Co-dependents are those who are psychologically dependent on or submissive to abusers.
Co-dependents are estimated at over 90% of the population.
Signs of potential power abuse include traits of frequent insults, criticisms, or anger, pride, grandiosity, selfishness, jealousy, demands, threats, hatred, violence, chronic stress, excessive drinking or drug use.
Signs of potential co-dependence are traits of submissiiveness, tolerance of abuse, over-dependence on others, being irresponsible while pretending to be super-responsible, perfectionism, naivete', fearfulness, nervousness, worry, phobias, substance abuse [which includes junk foods, esp. carbohydrates], exhaustion, facade, shyness, unassertiveness, self-disrespect, confusion, or dishonesty.
Most power abusers also have some degree of co-dependence.
CAUSES OF STRESS [Dr. Clancy McKenzie:
http://www.drmckenzie.com
]
The cause of stress is any subconscious false assumption or insecurity about dangers, identity, or relationship
These assumptions usually begin in childhood, when we're very naive.
If such false assumptions were not subconscious, they would be easy to correct and the stress would end.
As was said in Lesson 2, continuous misery tends to go into the subconscious, and so do the underlying assumptions.
Most people have traumas in early childhood, which cause these false assumptions of insecurity.
Separation trauma in early childhood is just as serious to kids as is major combat trauma to soldiers.
Such traumas tend to recur in later life, if similar events recur, such as losing a loved one, esp. thru a breakup.
When people understand the repetitive nature of early trauma, they're usually able to cope much better.
Early traumas often recur in adolescence as Schizophrenia, Major Depression, or earlier as Autism.
The kinds of trauma that can lead to these conditions include:
physical or emotional problems of the mother during pregnancy, birth problems, circumcision, separations due to sickness etc, emotional separation due to parent's problems or diverting attention to another sibling, problems worsened by sickness, injury due to accidents or drugs or medical treatments, e.g. vaccines containing mercury etc.
CO-DEPENDENCE & ABUSE PREVENTION
Preventing Power Abuse, Substance Abuse and Co-dependence requires reducing stress [i.e. insecurity].
There are many stress reducing techniques, but only a few, at most, deal effectively with the causes of stress.
This is the key to permanent stress reduction and increased group and individual efficiency.
Subconscious false assumptions underlying stress can be made conscious by asking questions.
Ask questions about your negative emotions, because these emotions are created by stress.
The negative emotions include fear, worry, anger, loneliness, boredom, shame etc.
Emotional feelings are like physical feelings: both are signals that either harm or healing is occurring.
While physical pain or irritation signals harm is occurring to the body, emotional pain or irritation signals harm occurring to the mind.
Pain and irritation can also occur during healing, but it should be diminishing over time.
Pain killers should be used very little, if at all, as they make us unaware of harm that may be occurring.
Subconscious false assumptions cause mental harm and emotional pain, much like harmful physical conditions cause bodily pain.
So subconscious false assumptions are harmful mental conditions.
Becoming aware of the falsehood behind emotional pain makes it easier to find the truth, which is simply opposite of falsehood.
And the truth automatically restores mental well-being and sets us free of emotional pain.
STRESS REDUCTION METHOD [from the 12 Steps]
A good way to proceed with stress reduction is with these short steps.
1st, check for tense muscles in the body and relax them and breathe more deeply.
[Step 4a] Stay alert to negative emotions or stress and occasionally stop to think about it when it strikes, or sometime during the day when there's time, and write briefly about the following.
[4b] Name the primary negative emotion that comes with the stress.
[4c] Ask what assumption, belief, or view is connected to this emotion [Check under next section: General False Assumptions].
[4d] Ask what there is about this assumption that's likely to be false.
[4e] Consider what is the opposite of the false assumption that is probably true.
[Step 7] Ask your subconscious to let go of the false assumption and remember the opposite truth.
[Step 10] Repeat the process as long as stress continues to return.
The subconscious false assumptions should become clearer with each practice of this procedure.
The following pointers may help you recognize your false assumptions.
GENERAL FALSE ASSUMPTIONS [with Step 4]
The several classes of negative emotions involve general false assumptions that are typical of most people.
Reading this below can help clarify subconscious assumptions involved in your stress.
The classes of negative emotions most common to stress are fear, anger, loneliness, boredom, shame and guilt.
Sometimes more than one of these emotions are involved.
FEAR - is the primary negative emotion, as it is usually involved in other negative emotions as well.
It includes worry, nervousness, fright, confusion etc, in other word, Insecurity.
The main assumption we make when we have fear is that something may cause us unbearable harm or pain, which would result in disaster.
What's wrong with this assumption? 1] Nothing is truly unbearable; 2] all pain can be relieved or prevented.
The main reason we think pain can be unbearable is that we have felt alone and unloved.
This will be covered further under "Loneliness."
We can find safe ways to face the false assumptions behind our fears to see that they are false.
The opposite of the assumption that pain can be unbearable or unpreventable is the fact that all pain is bearable and or preventable.
Note to subconscious, "Pain is not unbearable or unavoidable, so take away my exaggerated fear.
Help me learn to prevent the harm or pain I fear. Let me be at peace.
Start by relaxing all of my unduly tense muscles. Let me get whatever help I need."
Since feeling loved reduces pain appreciably, we can seek to feel loved by God, or a higher power, or by associating with loving people.
ANGER - includes feelings of hatred, resentment, frustration, irritation, annoyance, impatience, revenge, jealousy, bitterness etc.
The general assumption with anger seems to be that we've been cheated and that we deserve or need to get even.
The fear behind anger is that we will experience unbearable harm or pain, if we don't get even, or right a supposed wrong.
The false aspects of anger assumptions are, either that we've truly been wronged, or that we need to right the wrong in a way that hurts someone else.
The truth, which is the opposite, is usually that we aren't really so easily wronged, or that we need not hurt someone in order to right a wrong.
Note to subconscious, "Let me not readily feel wronged over trifles and let me not think a wrong can be righted by hurting someone.
Let me find healthy ways to right wrongs."
LONELINESS - includes sadness, depression, despair, aloofness, blues, blahs etc.
The assumption behind loneliness is that we are alone or separated from loved ones.
The opposite of this is that we are never alone. God or good and or loved ones are always with us.
The fear is that getting too close to God or love will cause unbearable pain or discomfort.
If we believe in God or good, we may fear that, if we get too close, God won't let us have any fun or relaxation.
The opposite of this is that our "higher power" wants us to have fun and peace so we can better share love with others.
HP wants to be our best friend and to give us the best advice we can get, not to be our dictator or prison warden or slave driver.
Note to subconscious, "Let me know that I'm never alone, that love is always with me and always ready to provide comfort and friendly, wise, helpful advice."
BOREDOM - which may go as far as sadness, depression, and or despair, has the assumption that we are in need of excitement.
The fear is often that nothing may be truly exciting, or that nothing is meaningful.
What is usually false in such assumptions is either, that we really need so much excitement [it can easily be a crutch to avoid other subconscious fears], or that a physical feeling like boredom may become permanent and unbearable.
The opposite of this, which is often the truth, is that anything can be exciting, or everything can have meaning.
This feeling of boredom is often a result of poor eating habits which don't provide good nutrition, due to too much junk food, or drugs, or abusing substances, or not enough pure water.
Meaning in life can be hard to detect if our brains are in a fog from bad habits.
Also, meaning can often be found by doing more for others and dwelling less on our own obsessions.
SHAME - includes feeling ashamed, embarrassed, degraded, violated, shy, guilty etc.
The main assumption in shame etc seems to be that we appear to others to be unacceptable in some way
And our reaction is to try to escape as quickly as possible.
The fear is often that we will be reduced in status and be less appreciated or loved by others.
Anger often accompanies shame, especially when we feel degraded.
The false aspect of these assumptions is that we are unacceptable.
The opposite, which is the truth, is that we are always acceptable, even if our bodies are unattractive or we have a moral debt that we need to pay.
GUILT - is one negative feeling that can stem from either false assumptions or from truth.
False guilt is based on any false assumption, which claims that we are guilty of something, when we're not really guilty of that. Someone has wrongly persuaded us of our false guilt.
Instead of being guilty of that thing, we're guilty only of having false guilt.
But we need to be careful about guilt, because real guilt tells us we're guilty of something that we really are guilty of.
And when we find we're truly guilty of some wrong, we need to make every effort to right that wrong as soon as we are emotionally healthy enough to do so.
If we have fear about making amends for wrongs done to anyone, we need to address that fear before we can carry on with effective amends.
Many of us find that the one we've wronged the most is ourselves and the way to make amends to ourselves is mainly by letting go of our subconscious false assumptions.
REGRESSION
Regression is reverting back to emotional false assumptions.
Does every vocation and every group and institution need the 12 Steps to prevent people's regression?
They probably need the basic elements of the 12 Steps, especially moral self-exam and amends.
Self-exam and amends are as important for entire groups as for individual members of groups, according to Peck.
Groups also probably need problem-solving or conflict resolution dialog with all groups with whom they have any social relationship, in order to prevent power abuse.
One of the best methods of problem solving seems to be the P.E.T. Type 3 method.
Consensus decision making also seems to be important, because it prevents majorities from dominating or abusing minorities.